31 October 2013

The Big Wedding

I don't understand this movie.
It's really strange. 
And when did Robert Di Nero become so old?

This was like watching 'It's Complicated', just a bunch of old people trying to reclaim the magic. 
This movie follows the life of Di Nero, who's adopted son is going to get married. Di Nero was married to Diane Keaton, but slept with her then best friend Susan Sarandon and then left Keaton to marry Susan.
Up till then Keaton and Di Nero had had 3 children, angry and cynical Katherine Heigl, still trying to be Eric from 'That 70's show' Topher Grace and adopted son from Colombia Ben Barnes. Barnes is getting married to an extremely Stepford Amanda Seyfried. 
Ben has recently come into contact with his birth mother, an extremely catholic woman and his baby sister who both come to America to see him on his wedding day. Ben is afraid that she might look down upon his broken adoptive family so he asks Keaton and Di Nero to pretend to be married again. Which they do with a lot of difficulty. 
Meanwhile, Topher Grace is busy hitting on Ben's sister. Which isn't weird. And Katherine is busy hating the world.
Di Nero and Keaton fall into bed together the night before their sons wedding and that makes things EVEN more awkward than it was already.
Susan Sarandon and Diane Keaton have a great bonding moment, while Ben tries to explain things to his birth mother, who admonishes him saying family should never be lied about/ lied to.
Ben and Amanda eventually do get married, after Di Nero gives an elaborate and inappropriate speech. In a surprise twist at the very possible end, Katherine ends up getting a different perspective on life and stops hating everyone and everything.
Oh, and Topher Grace does it with the Colombian Sister.
This was a very odd movie, which I in retrospect, realized made me cringe awkwardly more times than it made me laugh.
I do like most of the people with the minor exception of Topher Grace, who's hayday ended with the end of 'That 70's Show'. And I was severely disappointed with the outcome.
The story was not great, the direction did have some flaws, the delivery of the dialogues was very unnatural and dear god, the acting. The terrible, terrible acting by some of my preferred actors physically hurt me.
The Good: Ben Barnes is a mighty pretty man.
The Bad: All of the innuendos in the movie. I bet if I got a penny for each one, I would be a hundred-aire. 

Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani

I love Ranbir Kapoor with every fibre of my being but every time I think of him in this movie, I have a mini-vomit.
This movie basically follows the life of an average girl who has spent most of her life involved in books rather than you know, actually developing social skills.
She goes grocery shopping and meets old classmate, Kalki who is everything wrong. She has tattoos, her hair is dyed and she is generally a happy person. Kalki tells her about a hiking trip that she is going on and in the 3 minutes of that conversation she convinces Deepika to come along with her.
The foursome which includes Loser Dude who figured, "Hey, let me cling to the cool kids, that'll make me cool!" and Ranbir Kapoor who is the usual devil-may-care, girls-had-better-stay-away-from-me guy. 
Deepika wears short shorts in a place covered with snow and they together hike to a point that the tour guide specifically says it too dangerous. In that hike, she of course, falls in love with him.
The next day, she takes off her glasses and lo-and-behold becomes suddenly beautiful. Enter dance sequence where we see that she actually has a fun side rather than just you know, being stupidly boring.
They then find out that Ranbir, who up till this point has been shown as the class failure, has been offered a scholarship to study journalism in the US. He leaves, breaking Deepika's heart, but she has by that point gained a best friend in Kalki.
Fast forward 5 years, and we see Ranbir working as a camera person for a travel show on Fox Travel. He seems dejected by all the fancy traveling to new places, experiencing great things and getting paid for all that fun. A job that almost every person in the world would KILL for.
He is on the verge of getting promoted when he gets the invitation for Kalki's wedding to Dude from Delhi Belly. He then decides to LEAVE the great job and go home to India where he meets Barely-Any-Clothes Deepika, dances with her and realizes he is in love with her. He also helps Kalki and Loser Dude with their lives, making us realize that he is the glue holding us all together. 
He expresses his love for Deepika, and she first says no due to the fact that she already has Some Other Dude. And then she says yes, because she can't help herself. Then she says no again.
AND THEN, Ranbir in an extremely romantic moment barges into her house, kisses her and then spends about 11 minutes of the movie convincing her that he loves her and will leave his AMAZING job to be all lovey and unemployed with her.
The Good: I am not entirely sure, but I think Deepika has about 14 sentences in the entire movie.
The Bad: EVERY thing else.

How I Met Your Mother- Season 9

You know how you watch something since you were a little and loved every minute of it. And then you grew up and actually started understanding the innuendos, started watching it online and comparing yourself to the characters on the show.
And then the show became totally crap?
Yeah, that's what happened with HIMYM.

When Friends ended, everyone had a hole in their soul that needed to be filled. Some turned to food, some to adventure sports and some to alcohol. Basically, we all needed something to look forward to every week. And then the answer came in the form of How I Met Your Mother. 
It was a charming story about 5 friends who all have complicated life histories that just entangle you and never let you go.
But now that the final season is upon us. And all the excitement and suspense would be coming to an end.
And all that enthusiasm became a waste.
It's not the story or the direction that I am annoyed with. HIMYM has always been great with being able to convey time transitions perfectly. There wasn't much change to the story in the 9th season, despite the fact that they showed who the mother was, showed her making a relationship with Lily and then you know, she disappeared. Which is just normal. 
But its the acting that I have an immense bone to pick with. It's like everyone one on the show except Jason Segal is playing the game 'Shatner', where someone yells 'Shatner' and you are meant to overact everything that you do. Alyson Hannigan and Cobie Smulders being the winners of the game, of course.
To say that I am disappointed with things is an understatement.
The Good: It's almost over.
The Bad: The show keeps bringing up issues between Barney and Robin and never addresses them!

12 October 2013


What is this show?
No, seriously, I mean, what in the world is this show?

Whatever respect that I had for Anna Faris from her role in Friends died after the last Scary Movie. But then I saw "Mom", and I had some pretty serious evaluating to do. 
And I used to LOVE Allison Janney, especially after her heart melting performance in The Help.
Mom is basically a show that follows the life of a woman who had a troubled childhood thanks to her alcoholic and drugged up mother. She then becomes pregnant in high school, and then ventures out in the world and ends up with yet, another child, becomes an alcoholic herself and then cries about the fact that she couldn't be a psychologist like she wanted to. 
Oh, and she is sleeping with her married boss.
And she listens to reaffirmations in her car.
Enter blond daughter who seems to be rather loose with her ways and in a story that has been around since time immortal, the daughter becomes pregnant and her boyfriend is super dumb.
Enter drugged up and alcoholic mother who will hit on anything that moves and surprise-surprise is close friends with slutty preggers daughter.
4 episodes in and I know, that I really do not like this program.
The Good: The kid from New Girl is the second child.
The Bad: Absolutely everything else

9 October 2013

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

You know that moment when you realize that the two actors that you love and adore beyond relief are acting together in a movie. Oh, wait, of course you don't. Because it never happens.
But on this one absolutely rare occasion Amazing Steve Carell and AwesomeSause Jim Carrey both star in a movie about magicians.
How are you still reading this blog post and not scurrying away to watch this movie?
Oh, and Olivia Wilde is there in this movie as well.

The shameful thing is that after all that I have said and bragged about this movie, it turned out to be mildly disappointing. 
I say, mildly of course because it still stars both Steve and Jim, and I do love them so.
Anyone else and I would have cut up this movie like something meant for the craft workshop.
But I digress.
The plot follows a man who has known ever since he was a young boy that he wanted to be a magician. A magician like none other and the one who would replace Houdini himself.
Never heard that one before.
He partners up with a buddy from his childhood and together they grow super-super famous. They even gain jobs as entertainment in a Las Vegas Casino seemingly without breaking a sweat.
Jeez, if I had known it was that easy I would have exchanged my Journalism (pending) degree for a shiny vest and a top hat.
Steve grows a mighty bog head and eventually his duo becomes a sad little solo.
Meanwhile, new kid on the block, Jim has everyone amazed with his eerily Chris Angel like mind tricks. He grows enough to threaten Steve and his Sad Solo Act.
Where does Olivia Wilde come in, you ask?
Good question, fair child.
She is one of the many 'assistants' that Steve runs through his act and she eventually gets promoted to almost-partner and even is the receiver of many inappropriate sexual jokes by the hand of Steve.
Which all just reminds me of the weird relations between Steve and Keira in 'Seeking a friend for the end of the World'. 
She also becomes Ms. Voice-of-Reason and coaxes him to reach out and connect with the magician he once wanted to be and thus reduce the size of his rather large head.
If it wasn't obvious already, I didn't like this movie. There seemed to be a lack in the story,  and therefore a subsequent lack in direction. The first half of the movie is still bearable but the rest pf it makes me want to forget it ever happened so as to ensure that it doesn't sully the purity of the Comic Gods in my head.

The Good: The presence of the Comic Gods
The Bad: The fact that I watched this movie