26 January 2014

12 Years a Slave

I should really just write down a list of the awards it's up for and say, 'Watch it'.
But since, I love the sound of my own written word, you get to read about it!

The inspired-from-true-events movie follows the life of an African American called Solomon who lived a prosperous and happy life with his family. One day he is abducted and being 'coloured' he is sold into slavery.
What follows next is the story of how a man went from being free and happy to being enslaved and beaten for years, until one day he manages to return home.
It is a heart breaking story and it will make you cry. A lot.
The filming seems to have been primarily in the South of America, with many scenes next to picturesque bayous.
There is extremely strong acting throughout the movie, but personally I felt that there were scenes where Solomon seemed dispassionate about what he was saying.
The movie was quite graphic and it will make you cringe. It's not just what they are doing, but also what they are saying.
Racial slurs fly by faster than kingfishers hunting and there is violence in it that would make JigSaw happy.
The script and story is really strong, but for someone as fidgety as me, there were bits that dragged on, and on and on.
The movie worked really well with showing the difference is races for those days and also portrayed it very realistically. Some of the supporting actors were by far some of the best I have ever seen, sometimes even stealing the show from the main actors.
It was especially inspiring to see Michael Fassbender and Paul Dano being truly spectacular. Their acting was absolutely brilliant.
The only thing missing was the extreme lack of a great soundtrack to go along with the images. It was poor and quite less than ordinary and not what should have been along with a movie with such power in it.
It is good movie to watch for sure, but don't be surprised if it doesn't blow you away entirely.

The Good: The ending sequence really ties the story together.
The Bad: The violence was a little too real to be comfortable watching 

25 January 2014

Life of a King

Cuba Gooding Jr. is chock-full of talent.


This inspired from true events movie is a truly amazing film. It is about Cuba, a recent jailbird who is trying to make sense of his life after a long stint in prison. 
His daughter is pre-law but his son, following in his footsteps is in Juvie. 
He gets a job as a janitor in his children's old high school, until one day the at-risk detention kids run their monitor out and Cuba has to take over.
He impresses them with his courage and the fact that he's all 'been there, done that'. He then attempts to win them over with chess.
The movie follows several different sub-plots, with several different students. Some who are trying to get by, some who are trying to sell drugs and some who are trying to change the way that they live. 
The movie is a beautiful piece of cinematography. Cuba does an exemplary job of acting, with giving due chance for you feel sorry for him and then be able to feel his strength. 
The score of the movie is nothing unusual but it works especially well in the scenes when they show them playing the game. The filming is done in a slightly artsy way but it still feels relatable, rather than something surreal.
It is the story of a man trying to change kids lives by teaching them to understand the bigger picture through chess. 
It is a beautiful movie which speaks to you and makes you respond in a very strong emotional way ie. I cried like a little girl.
It did become a little black man versus the white towards the end, but ignore that.
There are too many metaphors and symbolism in the movie, but even if you focus just on what you see, it is still absolutely engaging. 

The Good: The idea of 'Think before you move' is proved brilliantly in this movie. 
The Bad: It's just so sad to think that this way a real story.

Raze

It's like a strange and uncomfortable version of Fight Club. 


If you have ever read James Patterson's 'Kiss the Girls' then you can expect the visualization of the book in this movie.
It is an extremely strange movie where a couple kidnaps 50 women and pits them against each other in exchange for their families safety.
We join them when only 22 women are left and the weird/crazy couple who strangely have an entire team of extremely trained soldiers to keep the women in line.
The idea is that all the women will keep fighting amongst themselves, until one is left.
The weird couple insist on calling them Medea, taking from the greek myth of a cray-cray woman who dismembered her lover since he didn't give her the Golden Fleece.
So basically, the crazy man compared the normal women who he kidnapped to someone else crazy.
Does anyone notice the irony?
There is a lot of fighting in the movie, girl-on-girl. Which is worth an eyebrow raise.
The movie makes no sense, and is too gory to be comfortable with viewing. And there is no sense in the dialogues. They just keep saying things and it doesn't have any logic.
It had promising score initially but then the tables turned quickly as the movie progressed into a semi-erotic weird movie that people are actually expected to pay to watch.
Just. Just stay away from this movie.

The Good: It's only just a movie. It's not real life.
The Bad: They are trying to make us think that it is real life. 

Legend of Hercules

For a person who is as enamoured as me by Greek Mythology, this movie was like catnip.


We follow the life of demi-god Hercules from inception till he becomes a grown up gladiator. The story goes that a power hungry Greek Ruler goes on a rampage trying to amass as many as possible lands around him. His wife becomes terrified of the tyrant and his power and asks the Gods for help. Hera appears to her and tells that she must bear another son, for the sake of peace. And the son must be fathered by Zeus, and he must be names Hera-cules or Hercules to depict the sacrifice that Hera made for the sake of the nation. The tyrant obviously hates Hercules and the feeling is shared by Hercules's half brother.
There is also a romantic interest in the form of Eastern European accented Hebe, which the Disney fan-girl in me protests loudly. If it's not Megara then she's not the one for Hercules. 
What follows is a lot of government talk and extended action sequences. 
Some scenes seem as though you are watching a better lit version of 300. 
When I saw the movie I was expecting at least some of it to be about the Labours of Hercules or about the actual legends of Hercules. Instead I was given shots of a lot of war and talking.
The dialogue delivery was strange as well. You were either straining to hear or shirking from the yelling. The picturisation starts out strong but then melts away into the darkness. Acting is slightly stilted, especially from Kellan Lutz.
The fight scenes are very well choreographed, and depicted, even though sometimes it feels like you are watching a WWE fight. 
The scene when Zeus 'visits' Hercules's mother, is incredibly long and cringe-worthy. 
Hercules is shown as a twenty something dude who can't keep it in his pants for a woman who doesn't even know his real name and is technically engaged to his half brother, and other than that he doesn't really seem to care for much else. This shallow version of a Greek hero makes me sad to say the least.
You can watch the movie, but I doubt you'd leave happy.

The Good: Another Greek mythology movie!
The Bad: Their facts were wrong. Hebe, the goddess of youth is a child of Hera and Zeus. Why would she be walking about on Earth making eyes at her half brother? 

Killer Women

This show should come with warning, "It will blow your mind in less time than it takes to boil an egg."


We see the life of Molly Parker who is a recent divorcee, living with her brother's family. She is also one of two women employed as a ranger. Specifically as a Texan Ranger. She also plays the saxophone and is an all round bad-ass. 
The show is a crime/detective show which ensures that after only one show you will be hooked. There hasn't been a great development in a continuous story, but every single episode is a great story in itself. 
This is one of the shows that has an unbelievable score, which leaves goosebumps on my skin. It has got an Latin, Mexican and Spanish flair to it, which is just so much fun.
There is great acting in the show and is absolutely impressive.
The show is produced by Sofia Vergara, so you know that they show will be filled with pretty people. 
And that these pretty people are really good at what they do. 
The show is super dramatic, and when it is coupled with the AWESOME music, it feels like you are watching a Nolan movie. 
Oh MY GOD! It is exactly like watching a Nolan movie.
(I actually came up with the analogy while writing this, hence the excitement)
Just watch the show. It is a little too cool.

The Good: Have I not said enough?
The Bad: The actress looks a little too old to be playing the character she is playing. 

Super Fun Night

The name really gives away the plot of the show, doesn't it?


Created by Rebel Wilson, the show is a comedic rollercoaster. As in, one minute it's HI-larious and the next you are wondering why you are watching it in the first place.
We see the life of a trio of ever so slightly pathetic women. An insecure lawyer, an extremely butch tennis coach and a required actor from a minority group to make sure that everyone knows that this show is 'diverse', an Asian. The three of them decide that in order to break out of their rut, they must do at least one fun thing one a week, which they call their Super Fun Night. Which is the one night of the week we get to join in their adventures. 
It is an actually funny show, it is just not as funny one would hope it is.
There are several continuing storylines, some of which are the breaking of social norms and the competition for an odd little Englishman.
While you won't be left in splits at the end of the show, you will go back for more. It's addictive that way.

The Good: Finally, a show with a name that delivers.
The Bad: I'm 4 episodes in, and I am yet to LOL!

Delivery Man

Vince Vaughn is 43 years old.
Any role he does trying to convince us otherwise, isn't working.


Delivery Man follows the life of an irresponsible middle aged man who works in his father's meat shop.
His life has constantly been in a routine of a regular 21 year old- working for his dad, gambling, growing pot and ruins his relationships.
Until one day his sorta-girlfriend tells him that she is pregnant. However, she wants him to have nothing to do with their child. He reevaluates his life, and then he is told that the sperm he donated to a fertility clinic, oh so many years ago, have actually helped sire over 500 children.
And of those 500, 143 (I could be wrong, this was the boring bit) wanted to get in touch with their biological father.
While his lawyer friend advises him to not contact any of them, he finds out that some of his sired children have achieved great things.
And then we continue on to a wonderfully long montage of Vince discovering himself and proving his thus gained self to his preggers girlfriend.
The movie takes about 27 mins to prove to you that despite calling itself a comedy-drama movie, it is really not funny. The amount of soul in the movie is not enough. It doesn't make you go awww.
There is a lot of scope of acting in this movie especially from Vince.
The story of Deliver Man was an original French movie, which became a French-Canadian movie, which became a Bollywood movie and finally a Hollywood one.
All in all it was a terrible excuse for a movie. It had tremendous potential but nothing went beyond being 'eehn!'

The Good: Bobby Moynihan tried to be funny
The Bad: I will never get back this time of my life.

Frozen

The movie that will give you chills.
Literally.


The movie has a premise of people hating winter. Which for a person like me, who has been born and raised in the tropical heartland, is insane.
The movie follows the life of two princesses, Elsa and Anna, the former of which has the superpower of creating ice/snow. One night while playing, Elsa hit Anna in the head causing a strand of her hair to white.
Her parents upon the advice of trolls who look like rocks, hide Elsa away from the entire world, especially from her sister.
Years go by, and in a cruel twist of fate, the parents die, and yet, Elsa cannot comfort her younger sister because of her commitment to the promise.
Some more years go by, and suddenly it's Elsa's coronation day and apparently it's the first time the doors of the castle are opened. At least that's what we gather from the reaction of Anna. While Anna is leaping from post to post singing about how happy she is to interact with people and fall in love, Elsa is dealing with the pressure of being 'normal'.
And of course, Anna falls in love with the first guy she meets and decides to get engaged to him. When she announces it to Elsa, she says the revolutionary sentence, 'You can't marry a man you just met.'
Silly Disney, doesn't it realise that it needs more than one movie to change the 40-year old idea that girls must marry the first stranger that they meet.
But when Anna presses Elsa to change her mind, Elsa loses control and shows her powers. Which shock and awe everyone.
Elsa flees, thinking that she is monster who will hurt everyone around her, and Anna runs after her. However, Elsa being the Ice Queen and everything manages to climb the tallest mountain in the vicinity and set up an ice castle, leaving their city under constant winter, well before Anna could say 'Catherine Zeta-Jones'
Anyway Anna meets Kristoff and his reindeer Sven on the way and recruits them to help her. On the way they also meet Olaf, a snowman that became animated with the help of Elsa's magic. The four of them find their way to Elsa's new crib where she attacks Anna and sets a snowyeti thing on them. They flee only to find out that Elsa hit Anna in the heart and the only thing that can save her is an act of true love.
The movie is filled to the brim with adorableness with several comedic moments. The animation of the men was brilliant, the women still looked like Barbie dolls.
There is a lot of heart warming and breaking moments throughout the movie. Within 11 minutes of the movie, the parents die suddenly and in the words of my roommate Kim, "What sort of children's movie is this?!
But it does, really does get better from there.

The Good: The reindeer is like an adorable dog!
The Bad: There are just so many songs. It's like watching a Bollywood movie. 

22 January 2014

Hello!

Hey, you there! *waving vigorously*
Yes, you!

Have you ever looked around, bored and didn't know what to do?
Then you decided to watch a tv show, or a movie.
BUT, there are just so many choices.
And IMDB and Wiki can just tell you what the movie is about, not what they thought of it.
Now finally you have a place, that you can trust to tell you the truth.
A place that will speak it's mind about the movie or tv show.
A place that will make many spelling errors, but will hope that you will not notice them.

The place that we call The Flamboyant Press.

Read on through the many reviews for famous(or sometimes, not so famous) movies and tv shows and pick what you want to watch and fall in love with.

And feel free to comment down below for any requests that you may have for any particular movie or tv show that you want me to watch and review.

Or comment if you just like what you are reading!

Hollywood Game Night

A tv show with celebrities playing games and drinking all night.
Why has no one thought of this before?


Hollywood Game Night is a show that is hosted by the amazing and super tall Jane Lynch. It is basically a show in a bar, with a tv screen and two couches. 
The 2 teams comprise of 3 celebrities and 1 'civilian' each, and the objective is to play a series of extremely fun and challenging games for the majority of the show. The team with the most points at the end, gets to play a one-on-one game with the civilian and one celebrity for a chance to win 25,000 dollars. 
Of course, the celebrities are playing for a charity and not themselves. 
It is an amazingly funny show, and I really hope that it is not scripted. It helps show stars how they naturally would be, and not the composed self they show in interviews which helps get a great insight into their lives and natures. 
The games are really well thought out and are quite fun to play along with. 
There is severe competition amongst the teams which makes the show so much fun!
There have been several famous celebrities on the show like, Julie Bowman, Martin Short, Ray Romano and Matthew Perry.
They have really great games which suck you into the magic of it all and make you feel like a part of the show. 
Jane Lynch is a great host, and does a great job of maintaining impartiality. Her comedic quips are a great treat throughout the show.
The show is accompanied by a brilliant live band who I would like to look up on Youtube.

The Good: Finally, a funny show.
The Bad: I am not a part of the show.

19 January 2014

Dads

Creativity really goes to town with titles like these.


Dads is a tv show about two middle aged men, who work together in a video game company and now suddenly have to deal with the fact that their fathers have moved in and need to take care of them. 
It stars Seth Green and Giovanni Ribisi, or as we know them, the funny ginger guy who is in everything and Frank Jr. They do an alright job of being funny. Which is disappointing.
Ribisi is a married man with 2 children and lives with his father and Seth is a confirmed bachelor whose father snakes his way into his house.
The guys are best friends and that means that the dads must also become best friends.
The show is filled with silly jokes and uncomfortable situations, like the scene when the dads and the guys have a stoner-off to see who can handle their pot better.
The show is meant to show how difficult it is to be middle aged and have your parents live with you. 
HOWever, what sort of premise is that?
A very large percentage of people in the world live with their parents and take care of them in their old age. Who would make a show that highlights the issues with the situation?
If the show was funny, then we could still accept it, but it's sadly just not that much.
Brenda Song is in the tv show as well, all grown up and hipster. And even she's not funny. I guess she needs to be in a role where she's daddy's little girl to able to make us laugh.
Don't watch the tv show unless you are really, really desperate.

The Good: Giovanni Ribisi got another role. Yayyee!
The Bad: WHY ARE YOU NOT FUNNY ANYMORE, SETH GREEN?

Sherlock

Or as we all know it as the show where Zarah first fell in love with Benedict Cumberbatch.


The beautifully shot Sherlock is a conundrum. What do you classify something that runs for 90 mins but has seasons?
A mini-movie franchise? A great thing for an addict?
Well, all that nomenclature aside, it is a fantastic piece of television that you must get addicted to as soon as possible.
We see a modern day version of the man and tales that were created oh, so long ago, by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. 
Even though, when I read the books, I was a die hard fan of Watson, but both Robert Downey Jr. and Benedict Cumberbatch have made sure that I converted to the right side of the team.
Sherlock is a brilliantly made show, with very strong story lines and great acting. The score is one of things that really draws you into the show. The direction has a lot to offer, with great scenes that help tell the story.
There is a dark and ominous feel to the entire show, but even a sun-could-shine-brighter person like me can appreciate that quality of the show. It is made with such precision that when you think about it, makes sense why they don't take out episodes fast enough.  
Martin Freeman takes a break from being a tiny man with hairy feet, and impresses us deeply with being a calculating ex-military man who makes sure that we can love him as soon as possible. 
Benedict Cumberbatch does an extremely great portrayal of a man with Asperger's Syndrome, who is an absolutely lovable character.
It's filled with intelligent humor and the ceaseless witty banter between the two stars makes me sure that this is the tv show that you had better being obsessed over.  
If you read the books and liked them, watch the tv show. If you saw the movies, and loved them, watch the tv show. If you love crime dramas, watch the tv show. 

The Good: Season 2, episode 1 is the best thing I have ever seen on television. 
The Bad: There are only 9 episodes. That is only 810 minutes worth of sheer brilliance.  

16 January 2014

Dan in Real Life

I know, I know. This movie came out 7 years ago. Why am I talking about it now?
Because it is severely underappreciated, that's why!


There is a inherent beauty in this movie that people haven't noticed and the thought of that makes me sad.
We see the life of a middle aged widow with three daughters. He lost his wife and a large part of his happiness a long time ago. Since then he has decided to throw himself in the lives of his daughters. Until the day he meets exotic sounding Juliette Binoche in a book store and hits it off with her immediately. Things in life finally start to look up. He then has to take a family trip to his parents house, where his younger brother Dane Cook introduces everyone to his new girlfriend, who could pass for his mother, Juliette!
*Gasp!*
The next few days are spent with Juliette and Steve denying their attraction to each other in typical rom-com fashion while everyone around seems oblivious.
The sexual tension boils down to all of them having a talent night. Everyone shows off their talent (of course!) but then Dane Cook decides to sing to Juliette and asks his big brother to accompany him on his guitar. 
*Super Gasp*
Steve hadn't played the guitar since his wife had left him, so everyone is surprised with the pleasant change. Dane Cook begins to sing to realise that he doesn't remember all the words. Big Brother decides to step in and sings the rest, almost in a serenade to Juliette. 

She tears up, so does everyone else and she decides to break up with Dane. Before leaving she and Steve decide to go bowling and end up kissing. 
*Super Mega Gasp*
But at that very precise moment his entire family walks in, presumably to cheer Dan up after his old-woman girlfriend dumped him. He punches Steve and Juliette leaves.
Steve all sad and things because of his deviated septum talks things through with his girls and his parents, who then encourage to Go Get The Girl. FYI, that is also the motto for every rom com ever written.
He gets the girl, they get married and live happily ever after. 
And I cry looking at the screen saying, "I am going to die alone."
It is an absolutely beautiful movie which leaves you feeling all warm and fuzzy. There are some great comic scenes every now and then but it's more serious than anything else. It's great to see Steve doing things other than comedy, Dane to do exactly what he does in every single movie and Juliette's pretty accent.
It's a brilliantly shot movie which shows that even ordinary films can have great direction.

The Good: It gave me my favorite song of all time, Pete Townsend's 'Let my love open the Door'
The Bad: It was over too soon.

Wolf Of Wall Street

Or as I like to call it, 'Just give him an Oscar already!'
The Great Leonardo strikes yet again! 


It was the last movie of 2013 and what a movie it was! 
From the brilliant mind of Martin Scorsese comes a fantastic new movie, all about investments.
Or stock brokers.
Or both.
I don't really understand THAT particular aspect of the movie. 
We follow the life of an extremely smart and talented Leo, who wants to make money and fast. He doesn't really care about the legality of the issue, just wants the money.
If you manage to throw in some drugs in there with a change of wife and kids, then he is all set. 
The money shows his journey from a nobody to massive somebody excellently, and Leo does a great impression of a guy out for himself and no one else. 
See now, that's a New Jersey accent that doesn't sound fake. 
Cristin Milioti has a short role in this movie as well, guess that explains her absence from HIMYM. 
The movie managed to show the jungle that Wall Street is and the animals it makes the people who work there. 
Great scenes with absolutely wonderful dialogues which mean that you will walk away with goosebumps on your arms.
Jonah Hill has also been a great surprise, he looks the part he is meant to play and he does it with ease. The drug abuse throughout the movie was portrayed excellently, with some great point-of-view shots that helped with the comic appeal.
Matthew McConaughey had a super short role as well and while he did that wonderfully, he did look a little stretched. No, not fat. Stretched, like Bruce Jenner. That's not an attractive thing.
The only thing that Scorsese did go away from was to go the Woody Allen way, and break the 4th wall often. Which was a great change. 
There was a great story, some of which may go over your head if you are like and don't really understand what the boys in Wall Street do, but you will enjoy it nonetheless.
Leo with dark hair and significantly less muscle looked wonderful and that in itself is a reason to go watch the movie!
There are some beautiful pictures in the movie which makes a treat for the eyes.
I would give it 7 out of 5 stars.

The Good: The speech when Leo first chooses to leave his firm. I was holding my breath for the entire scene.
The Bad: Hollow Man lookalike Matthew McConaughey.

The Middle

Your's is definitely not the craziest family on the block anymore.



With 5 very distinct but very relatable characters you can be assured that the show will make you laugh all the time. 
We have a crazed mum who is overburdened by the pressures of parenthood, a dispassionate dad who loves his routine, two teenagers who are polar opposites of each other and a kid who would rather face a book than people.
The show is a one camera show, but you would never know it. Filled with brilliantly funny and realistic scenes you will feel like you are a part of the family.
Despite the fact that the wig that they make the mum wear hasn't changed in 4 seasons, it still a good show.
Neil Flynn is a great actor who does angry and surly really well as we have all witnessed from his performance in Scrubs.
Eden Sher, Charlie McDermott and Atticus Shaffer are all young stars but they have definitely proved their value, with superb acting skills and great delivery of lines.
You can watch the show and be assured that you will end up liking it a lot. It's like a version of Modern Family. If you liked that, you will like this.

The Good: It hurts your stomach to watch
The Bad: (I sat staring at this place for 7 mins before I decided that there isn't anything wrong with this show)

Thanks for Sharing

Mark Ruffalo in a movie where he doesn't rip his shirt off and become a huge green monster? Unusual. Addiction really seems to be the topic of the season doesn't it.


Mark Ruffalo stars as a sex addict who is halfway through recovery when he meets Gwyneth Paltrow. His friends from therapy include 'been in recovery for years' Tim Robbins and 'just realised he's an addict' Josh Gad.
The movie follows the life of these three people in three different stages of recovery from addiction as they deal with the changes in their lives.
Ruffalo has to deal with being a mentee to Josh Gad who is still in denial and his new girlfriend who begins to show tendencies of neurotic behaviour. He has a bit where he falls off the wagon and then has to reinvent his life to get back on track.
Tim Robbins used to be an alcoholic and sex addict and gave his wife hepatitis and has an estranged druggie son. He slowly has to rebuild his relationship with the son which proves to be difficult with both of them having trust issues.
Josh Gad is a medical professional who loses his job thanks to his addiction and then has to deal with the aftermath of the addiction.
Don't let the name Alecia Moore trick you, its just P!nk using her real name. She plays a brilliant role of a heroin and sex addict who finds her first guy friend in Josh Gad. And of course, you can't put P!nk in a movie without having her sing. And the song has to be sung while burning Josh Gad's porn stash.
It is a beautiful movie which could be confused with an art film but is so much more.
The decision to take three people in different stages of their addiction was a brilliant portrayal of issue. There is beautiful cinematography with great dialogues which actually make you feel for the characters. Gwyneth Paltrow seems so super thin, there were just too many bones there. With clothes on though, she looked great. How does that woman not age?
It is a slow movie, and you need to watch it all the way through to really get the essence of the movie.

The Good: It's just such a pretty movie
The Bad: Subtlety is not a thing practised in this movie. 

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Andy Samberg finally gets his due!


Nine-nine is the story of smart mouthed, wise cracking police detective who works in the 99th precinct of Brooklyn. He along with his co workers have to deal with the crime and stupidity of the vagabonds of New York, and along the way they have very many hilarious side adventures.
There exists an expressionless boss who also adds to the comic value of the show. With great dialogues and brilliant quips the show ensures that you will be rolling about laughing every time.
There is a certain lack of chemistry with the main female lead, and Andy Samberg, but despite that they manage to pull together.
The handful of episodes that do exist of the show are wonderfully made and have some great scenes of acting. Andy Samberg ensures that you will not finish watching the episode without giggling at least once.
Or well, chuckling, if you are not a 7 year old girl.
They cannot make episodes fast enough to make me happy.
Watch it now!

The Good: You get Andy Samberg uninterrupted for almost 21 mins in a go.
The Bad: Not enough episodes.

Don Jon

I think I have well established my love and lust for Joseph Gordon Levitt. But no amount of love in the world can make me sit through another viewing of Don Jon.


We see JGL, a typical sleazy guy from New Jersey with roots in Italy who likes his women on a computer screen. He likes them in person as well, but he keeps comparing them to the women in the screen. He has a horrible nasal accent, and that weird haircut with the sides shaved. I mean, what even is that, do you WANT to look like a carrot everyday?
He usually meets women in clubs with his friends and one fine day, he meets nasal accented Scarlett Johansson. He begins dating her only to find that she doesn't compare to the women on his screen. She tries to make over his life, leave the porn behind, join a night class in college and even clean his apartment. She meets the parents as well, turning over a new page in his life. Everything is going great until he meets Julianne Moore, a student in his night class. She also, happens to be the only one in the entire movie who speaks like a normal person. She becomes friends with him and then she slowly starts affecting his lifestyle. 
The next most obvious thing happens with him falling in love with her and forgetting all about Scarlett.
The movie was directed by JGL himself and you can see where he went wrong. The story itself is good, but there is a lack of soul in the script, which only comes out in the last 15 minutes. There is great picturisation of the entire film and is put together in a quirky and edgy manner. The acting leaves a lot to desire especially with JGL. You can see that he is trying to do different roles, but this one wasn't a great decision. I went into the movie thinking it was about porn addiction, and boy, was I wrong. All the movie does is talk about the issue, and has nothing about dealing with it. The ageist in me came leaping out at the part where JGL falls in love with Juliane. It just didn't seem real. There was literally no comedy in the entire film which just added to the disappointment.
Watch it if you must, but don't, just don't watch it.

The Good: JGL is all buff and things.
The Bad: The constant fake nasal accent just never ends.


15 January 2014

Turbo

Racing movie about snails? How silly. That's not a thing.

But DreamWorks, makes it a thing. 

It is an adorable movie which follows the life and times of Turbo and his brother who work on a tomato plant. But in typical DreamWorks fashion, Turbo has a dream, deep within himself. A dream to become a *drumroll* A RACE CAR DRIVER! And specifically, race in the Indy 500.
Of course, being a snail and thus, one of the slowest animals in the world, he is the laughing stock of the entire snail community. One day while wandering the streets he gets ingested into the engine of a car, inhales/drinks the nitrous present and voila! He becomes a car.
Well, he gets the properties of a car, including the speed.
Next thing you know, he and his brother have been ousted from their community and they leave and get picked up by a Mexican/Latina guy who has a taco truck with his brother. They take them to the corner sidey looking part of town where they run the taco truck. There we are introduced to the locals who, wouldn'tyaknowit like to race snails and bet money on it. That's where Turbo's skills are discovered and he becomes the object of envy of his fellow racers, who are by the way all street thug-y. Lot's of stereotypes of Mexican people later, we find ourselves living the dream of Turbo. The reach the Indy 500 and looky-looky, they win. Making the corner sidey area of town a super rich part of town.
It's an adorable movie with the usual DreamWorks spin on it. It may be a little childish, but wouldn't you expect that from an animated movie?
You can watch it once if you are above the mental age of 20, and anything below, you can keep watching it again and again. 
It's not particularly funny, but has a great family feel to it. Ryan Reynolds has definitely made his mark in the animated movie area what with The Croods and now with Turbo. With the voices of Luis Guzman, Samuel L. Jackson and Maya Rudolph, you can be assured of a great time.

The Good: Finally, a movie about snails.
The Bad: It's a movie about snails.

Dhoom 3

Aamir Khan in a movie? It must be good!
EVEN if it is a part of the terrible Dhoom Franchise.


The story follows the story of circus owner, Jackie Shroff with his son complaining about the fact that the bank he took a loan out from, is going to shut down his circus because he didn't pay it back. And rather than deal with that, he decided to shoot himself in front of his pre-pubescent son. #ParentingGoals
We fast forward several years, and suddenly a lot of high and fancy thefts take place in the branches of the same bank. Befuddled, the Chicago PD decides to call in the big guns, ie. the local police officer, Can't Act Bachchan and his side-kick Muscles only Chopra, all the way from Mumbai, India, since they obviously know more about Chicago.
So anyway they get there, meet a guy, Tiny Man Khan who has all the knowledge of the criminal and they decide to let him, a pure civilian into all their plans.
Meanwhile, we find out that Tiny Man Khan is the master mind behind all of this himself! And better yet, he has a highly functioning autistic twin brother.
He also tries to restart the circus his father abandoned, and needs an Indian Goddess to be the star. And since I wasn't available they decided to go with Katrina The Expressionless Kaif. Whose only role in the movie is 6 lines and two songs.
Of course, Can't Act Bachchan finds out about the twins and the plan and decides to stop them, but seeing as it was an Indian movie, they manage to get away.
But not before, the twin falls in love with and kisses Expressionless and tries to stand up to his brother. Tiny Man Khan however, shuts down the revolution by his brother.
In the end they get caught, Tiny Man Khan asks for his brother's freedom in exchange for his arrest. And of course, he then jumps off the bridge, only to be stopped by the twin, who then jumps along with him.
The story is paper thin, with terrible-terrible acting. From everybody, including Tiny Man Khan. Which was disappointing. The quintessential Dhoom banter between Can't Act Bachchan and Muscle only Chopra was gone and fake fancy bikes which meant that it wasn't the same.
The lack of funny scenes was a great advantage, because then Chopra has even less lines than usual.
Do not watch it!

The Good: It's the last Dhoom movie!
The Bad: Aamir Khan chose to do this movie,
The Forgotten: Where was Rimi Sen?!  

Insidious 1&2

But Zarah, TWO movies in ONE go?
*Sigh*
How could I not, when they are this AWE-some!


If you are worried about watching a scary movie, don't be. The two Insidious movie's are wonderful thrillers with a few jumpy bits. 
I don't want to go into much detail about the story, because that is just something you have to visually enjoy rather than read on some teenage girl's blog. 
HOWever, I can regale you with all the wonder that is this mega-creepy movie. 
There is brilliantly thought out story which they manage to cover really well. They also have great actors in the movie. Other than the main woman. She is good in comedy, she should stick to that. 
There isn't really a lot of potential for great picturization but they have tried their best.
The movie is largely told by pictures rather than anything else, which is unusual for scary movies. 
Plus the scary characters in the movies are actually scary and not just grotesque creepy looking things. And there is a scary guy that looks eerily like Loki, from the comic books.
I really can't go into more about the same without going into detail about the story, which is a shame. So just go and watch the movies already! And do watch both of them together, it makes more sense that way. 

The Good: There is an actual story in a scary movie
The Bad: There are still some plot lines left in the movie.

The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

We return to the magical world that was created in the crazy mind of J.R.R and Peter Jackson. This time with more special effects.


The movie continues on from the last scene where we left our wonderful Dwarves post-massive goblin fight. Now these wonderfully tiny men have to outrun the pack of orcs and in doing so, they find themselves right in Elf colony which gave us Legolas. A Legolas, who thanks to the contribution of Del Toro, seems to use his fists rather than the arrow toting freak he becomes in LOTR. Also, he has grey eyes, rather then the vibrant blue in LOTR.
New Grey-Eyed Legolas seems to also have a lot of emotions in this movie, probably due to extremely pretty daddy issues. He seems to be switching between angry and slightly infatuated with Female Robin Hood. Also he is super buff. What, did he loose all the muscle mass in 60 years?
Bilbo Baggins and his flock also encounter the reason most of us arachnophobia, the giant spiders. And that is where he first experiences the power of The Ring. They then are captured by the Elves, which Bilbo saves them from yet again.
Meanwhile Female Robin Hood and Kili, the pretty dwarf fall for each other, but must live in denial. While they are running away from the Orcs, Pretty Kili gets shot with a poisoned arrow and the Tiny Men first come across the strange species called MAN. One of them gives refuge in his boat and takes them to the floating Man Village. Incidentally, that is also the place where Smaug was last seen. The Tiny Men then split up because you know, Pretty Kili is all dying and all, and they must abandon him in order to continue with their quest.
Meanwhile, Gandalf is all up in the ruins where the orcs originated, getting intimidated by the Necromancer. And... well, that's pretty much all that Gandalf is upto.
So then Tiny Man crew number 1 reaches the home of Smaug, while Tiny Man crew number 2 is looking after Dying Pretty Kili, who is saved by Female Robin Hood, because she is all in lurve and all.
Tiny Man crew number 1 sends Bilbo into the cave thingy bit to get the Arkenstone and that's when we all get what we paid for, Smaug. Smaug, with the amazing voice plays Death Tag with Bilbo until Tiny Man crew number 1 runs in to save him, unleashing Smaug into the world. And the movie ends.
The direction of the movie is very Jackson, but the fight scenes are quintessentially Del Toro and clashes with the essence of the movie. They are also quite reminiscent of old Jackie Chan movies. The weird thing about this movie is that everyone is just so much more cleaner than in LOTR. The orcs, the dwarfs and the hobbit. It's slightly disturbing to see them so clean. It doesn't really have any story, but that's what you would expect when a 400 page book is divided into 3 movies. Smaug is wonderful with a sinister voice and is only there for about the last half hour of the movie. The weird thing about this movie is that Jackson has done the same thing he did with LOTR, made the Dude with Daddy issues the hero rather than the Hobbit carrying the Ring.
Watch it, but don't expect a lot.

The Good: We can FINALLY see Smaug
The Bad: Orlando Bloom with grey eyes.      

12 January 2014

Girl Most Likely

A Kristen Wiig movie? It must be funny!
Not.

The movie follows the story of a exhausted and given-up-on-life playwright who has a falling career and a dead end relationship. 
She has to make the dreaded move back to her hometown New Jersey, to live with her mom, just to find herself face-to-face with a new man sleeping with her mother and a new man sleeping in her room. 
While she goes about trying to fix all these things in her life, we follow her on her path where she rediscovers herself in the most boring way possible.
The movie is meant to be funny with a family feel to it where you can find something about yourself along with the main character. 
HOWEVER, the funny thing turns out to be false with little to no comedy what so ever. The horrible thing about the movie was that, it took me about 4 tries to watch the entire movie in one sitting. It started incredibly slowly and then suddenly ended. 
It just seemed like the script wasn't entirely thought out and the director just lost steam at the end of the movie and decided to end the damn thing already. 
There were some cute moments in the movie but they were quickly followed with moments that were meant to be funny but weren't actually.
It was incredibly disappointing to watch the movie, because Kristen Wiig is just usually funny and so is Matt Dillon. Darren Criss, the beautiful man that he is, also does no justice to his reputation of being brilliant at acting. AND he doesn't have gel in his hair, that makes him even more adorable and even then I wasn't able to love him in the movie.
I would really not recommend this movie to anybody to watch.
The Good:  Darren Criss and his shirtless body
The Bad: Kristen Wiig not being funny
The Epiphany: Kristen Wiig is only funny when she is blond, not brunette.

The Heat

Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy in a buddy cop movie together?
Sign me up!

These two absolutely wonderful actors star in a movie with a sensible and by-the-book cop in Bullock and a wise cracking, foul mouthed with violence in her bloodstream in McCarthy.
It follows the story as this unlikely pair has to work together in order to solve a major crime. Despite initial fallout due their opposing natures, they manage to come together and work together.
The movie follows the classic genre in Buddy-Cop movies, but with the magic twist of finally using women in the plot of the movie.
Taran Killam, from Saturday Night Live makes a guest appearance in movie, which delighted me to no end.
The movie has a great feel to it, it's comedic appeal is by far exemplary of McCarthy and her genius acting.
To me it seemed like Sandra Bullock was reprising the same character that she played in Miss Congeniality 1&2, which you know, been there, seen that.
However, it was still great acting on her part. There were several funny quips throughout the movie which left you deliciously tickled for a long while. There is a background story that is going on which is slightly overshadowed by the banter between the two cops in the movie but they manage to tie it back down in the end.
The direction helped make it just that good of a movie, but the cinematography left a lot to desire.

The Good: SO super funny!
The Bad:  We've Sandra Bullock do all of this before.