29 June 2014

Somebody to Love

Ever had a bad day?
Ever felt alone?
Don't worry, it happens to the best of us.

On the eve of the first weekend I have spent all alone, I felt all those things. And as an avid eater of feelings, this one just wasn't doing the trick.
So I went on the internet to find some love.
Anything, really that didn't make me feel sad. And I came across a website, that I had nearly all but forgotten about.



And boy was I happy. This website hosts videos from people all around the world who say hello, maybe a few nice things along with it and then they hug the camera.
And it sounds corny and silly, but it is truly the nicest thing on the internet.
I don't know what it is, the idea that people have genuinely taken the time out to hug their screens, or the idea that if I met them, they might just actually hug me.
Initially, I was skeptical and didn't really think that it would help, but after a few minutes, it grows on you. And then the next thing you know, you are giggling and smiling it all away.

So in times of need, and with nobody to share it with, all you need is to go on the website.
And who knows, if you are feeling like sharing in the love, you can give a hug too. 

28 June 2014

Chef

This movie should come with a warning: Do not go watch this on an empty stomach.


Jon Favreau is absolutely talented to the brim. He was funny as Pete in Friends, he was brilliant as the director of Iron Man and lazy in the direction of Iron Man 2.
Couple that enthusiasm for cinema with the wonderful acting prowess of Sofia Vergara, Scarlett Johansson, Dustin Hoffman and RDJ and you get a great movie to boot. You also need to add the secret ingredient of great filming and lots and lots of food, that just fills your mouth with water.
Favreau is the head chef of Hoffman's restaurant where he feels creatively stifled. And after a bad online review he decides to quit his job.
His life seems to be in shambles, with his beautiful ex-wife in Sofia Vergara trying to help him get his life together, his son feeling abandoned, his plaything in Scarlett Johansson being all coy and silly and his su chef becoming his new replacement.
He takes a trip to Miami where he meets his ex-wife's ex-husband, RDJ who gives him his own food truck.
Jon then decides to make amazing looking cuban sandwiches and travel the country with his son, food truck and pal. They become an instant hit and they go viral.
SO viral indeed that they get super busy and in the end they get their own restaurant and life becomes peachy. This movie is a great way of showing the world how much the internet has affected and changed us. And it does it in probably the cutest and innovative ways possible. With great graphics, along with that.
In short, have you ever heard the song, Cat's in the Cradle? You can now watch the visual representation in this adorable movie.
Its funny, light hearted, sweet and makes you feel good at the end.
Please go watch it as soon as possible.
Also, this movie has undoubtedly the best score that I have ever watched. It makes you want to get up shimmy and bust a move. Don't believe me? Judge for yourself then : Chef Soundtrack or just listen to their main score here.

The Good: So much food! And the delectable filming of all the food. With the audible goodness of all the food.
The Bad: They got Russell Peters to do a cameo, but they made him less funny than he really is. Why, Jon, why would you make the one funny Indian, not funny?

The Other Woman

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.


For those of you who were alive and well during the early 2000's you might have seen the wonderfully cute, John Tucker must Die. And if you were Indian then you must have seen Ladies vs. Ricky Bahl.
And now new for older Western audiences comes, The Other Woman.
If you are one of those people who didn't watch either of those films, then here is the 411.
Cameron Diaz, lets call her Blonde no.1is a usual woman player who is a high powered career woman, that we never see or barely talk about unless we are talking about her receptionist Nicki Minaj. She meets Man-Whore, formerly an incestous one-handed man if you prefer Game of Thrones. Blonde no.1 falls in love with Man-Whore and decides to surprise him in his house. Where she promptly meets Leslie Mann, Blonde no.2, who is also the wife of Man-Whore!
She is obviously distressed, as is Blonde no.1. They then decide to band together and track down Man-Whore where they saw him flirting with yet another woman Kate Upton, Blonde no.3.
Blonde's 1 and 2 convince 3 to join them in their crusade to destroy the life of Man-Whore.
With a lot of comedy and twists, The Other Woman is a funny movie. Other than the fact that there is zero creativity and imagination in the whole film.
Leslie Mann is still a cute little woman, Cameron Diaz looks old, and that makes me sad and Kate Upton is made out to be the dim-wit thanks to the assets she got from her mama.
The surprising thing was when Nicki Minaj acted. Yep, you read that right, Nicki Minaj actually worked for the money this time.
It's strange how that turned out.
But other than that, it's a passable excuse for a movie, and you can definitely watch it once. Maybe skip forward some of the more boring parts.

The Good: Taylor Kinney, Lady Gaga's boyfriend is in this movie. And his is well on his way towards becoming a silver fox.
The Bad: Been there, seen that.
 

23 June 2014

Holiday

My eyes! Why must they burn so?


Akshay Kumar is fairly middle-aged. Why is he insisting on playing roles that require a twenty something man?
We see the life of a young Army officer in the defence intelligence branch of the Indian Army. He return home for vacay, and instead of relaxing, he is rushed to meet a girl and her family. This means that he doesn't have any chance of changing out of his fatigues, which leads to several army based jokes. Oh, I'm sorry, did I say jokes? I meant to say laughter intended dialogues. The word joke might imply that people might have laughed at it.
He see the girl, and it seems like he likes her. But then he turn around and rings the girl's family and tells them that he is just not that into her.
The girl, Sonakshi Sinha, in response slaps her father, and then takes a lot of money from him complaining about the tedious task of making 6 cups of coffee.
Where are the the good Indian values that Bollywood espouses?
I am not entirely sure what character Sonakshi was meant to be playing, she seemed to oscillate between a bratty, spoilt tomboy and a whiny little girl with anger management issues.
Govinda came back swinging in this movie, with his usual acting skills akin to a piece of granite.
Also, why did none of Akshay Kumar's friends, who looked to be closer to my age, not question the presence of a 50 year old man in their midst?
Horrible background music accompanied the even worse dialogues, which just didn't flow and seemed to be written by a 3 year old child.
Oh, the actual plot of this movie involves a lot of terrorism and taking care of national matters. And also, strangely inducing suicide of police officers.
Please save the cinema money and don't bother watching the Crapfest of 2014.

The Good: There was a song in there somewhere which, um, nice?
The Bad: Such movies get made, while there is actual talent out there getting stifled?

19 June 2014

The Unsung Hero

Seeing as I was going through my quarterly 'no one loves me and I am going to die alone' phase, I did everything that any ordinary woman would do. Which was to wallow in self-pity and watch sappy movies. 
And in my movie period, I realised that there was one movie that I always turned to and one movie that made me happy no matter what. 
We all know that quite a few of the storylines were courtesy of Shakespeare's hard work. And most of them made great movies. Twelfth Night became She's the Man, Taming of the Shrew became 10 Things I hate about You and so on and so forth. 
But my favorite play ever written was made into a wonderfully delightful movie, Get over It a.k.a Midsummer Nights Dream. 
 

Set in high school, it follows the life of Burke a man who had his love in Allison and lost it to the European accented Stryker (yes, that is his name). He goes on a mission to win her back, by auditioning and participating in the school's version of Midsummer Night's Dream. With an extremely funny cast of characters the movie is really one to watch, with a lot of comedy stuffed into it. 

Please watch it, so that I can find more people who love this movie. 

Bonus: Martin Short is in this movie. 

17 June 2014

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Ever had a moment in you life that you looked forward to, but that it was so bad, that it physically hurt to breathe in the next moment?

Ignore the first line, it was me over-reacting to an average movie, that in my mind was hyped up to be the next best thing.
A movie, that for all means and purposes only employed stupidly famous people for the sake of it and gave them less than 3 lines of dialogue to say overall, DOFP, showed how bad directing can really get.
With storylines hardly being explained in the jigsaw that was this movie, it was pure genius to make sure that most of the actors mumble their way through it. Yes, Nicholas Hoult, I am looking at you. Thank god, I watched it with subtitles.
The trailers and all the internet made it seem as though the movie would comprise of half and half, the future and the past. What they lied about was that the fact it is entirely about the past with about 11 minutes of the future in it.
The acting in this movie was at best a lazy attempt, and for the first time I thought Jennifer Lawrence was one of the better actors in the movie.
Things I didn't understand:

  • Why did they employ Peter Dinklage, Ian Mckellen, Anna Paquin, Kelsey Grammar, Halle Berry, Booboo Stewart, Lucas Till and the guy who plays Bobby when any lay person could have played the role written for them?
  • Why does James McAvoy put his fingers to his temple while using his powers but Patrick Stewart doesn't?
  • When they were going through the 'transformation' for Prof. X, why did they not cut his manky hair?
  • Where was the amazing, hair-raising music?
If you are a lay person, who didn't grow up watching X-Men and reading the comics, and then watching the previous movies and hence, have not grown emotionally attached to a piece of fiction, then you might be slightly disappointed or might even like this movie.
Anything else, and you are going through the same emotional turmoil as I am.

The Good: Another X-Men movie!
The Bad: Thanks to the end where they show, both Jean Grey and Scott (Cyclops) well, alive and in love, we are now aware that all the movies previously made have been rendered useless. 


16 June 2014

Orange is the New Black

What wouldn't I give to get a job working for Netflix?


This show was made for you to binge watch, and as a person who watched the entire second season within 24 hours, I can truly attest to this fact. 
Based on a book, OITNB follows the life of Piper Chapman, an average woman upon the first look, who has lived a life of adventure with her girlfriend Alex Vause, an international drug dealer. Chapman is now engaged to Larry, and surrenders herself to the police and goes to jail for 15 months. 
The TV show is based in the prison itself and shows the differnt ways people live, and survive the horror that is jail time. 
The show is absolutely well directed, and edited so seamlessly that you don't even understand how you have managed to watch an hour long episode so quickly.
Dialogue is incredibly crude and if it was aired before primetime, it would consist solely of beeps. There are well-detailed characters, each of the actors do justice to their roles. Having said that, I must point out that I really do not like Taylor Schilling, the protagonist, and her acting makes my head hurt. And Jason Biggs is like his role in American Pie, the grown up version. The show gives a great insight to the way government works and the depravity of humans. 
On the cusp of it's 3rd season, it is truly one to look out for. 

The Good: After the end of That 70's Show, my heart yearned for Laura Prepon, and now she's back!
The Bad: I realised that I as a person am Crazy-Eyes
The Uncomfortable: Since the tv show is a Netflix venture, all of the episodes are released in one go. Which I do not understand. At all. I enjoy the anticipation of waiting for a new episode each week. And despite the fact that I am all for change, this is one thing I really am not happy with. It's like skipping to the end of a good book to find out who the murderer is.

14 June 2014

22 Jump Street

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand, them boys are back!


When the first movie came out, we all fell in love with the silly duo, who reminded us slightly of the incredible Bad Boys. And then they thought since the money was coming in anyway, let's continue to make it rain.
Now, grown up and looking even older than they did in the last movie, they make a return to Jump Street and go to college.
The story of the movie is eerily similar  to the first one, with the duo infiltrating the kids social groups and trying to do a drug bust. But things go terribly awry when they split up. Just like they did in the last movie.
Jonah Hill finds himself a new woman to lust after, just like the last movie, while Tatum finds a new best friend.
The movie was a carbon copy of the first, but with a lot more of a capacity of funny stored away.
The acting was average especially from Tatum who just looked sleepy halfway through. And Jonah Hill, the shining star mumbled and stuttered his way through to our hearts. The girl however, refused to act throughout the movie and just sustained herself as a pretty face to watch.
The direction and editing of the this movie was something I did enjoy tremendously. I do think you should watch the movie, just don't expect to watch again.

The Good: Stick around till the end, the credit sequence is one to watch
The Bad: They made a 'as previously seen on...' , which I don't see as a required aspect. Plus, we've lived through years of sequels, we don't need to be told what happened in the last movie. 

1 June 2014

The Axe of May

For those of you who know me, the title may mislead you. May is the month that holds the day we all love, my birthday.
But it is also the time that the ratings for shows are reviewed. And in many cases it is the time, when shows meet the back exit.
And this year is different to no other, other than the tiny fact that the show I have held near and dear for a long time has met the chopping board.
Community, a show set in the strange world of community college was the show that kept me going in times that were hard.

This show introduced me to the wonderful imagination of Dan Harmon and the Five-head of Joel Mchale which I have come to enjoy of late. 
With the departure of SNL veteran Chevy Chase and funny music man Don Glover in it's final season, meant that the show's funniness had decreased tremendously. But it had come very far, indeed. And now, with a parting cackle from Ken Jeong, it's gone. 

Another one which bit the dust was the show everybody loved to hate, Suburgatory. 

If someone were to ask me what the show was about, I could not answer that question. It was an eclectic mix of characters, but the presence of Jeremy Sisto, my dear throwback to the days when Clueless was a thing, meant that I had to watch the show systematically. 
But with the demise of these two funny shows I do hope that there exists a new era of comedy shows.