20 August 2014

Sex Tape

You know how wine becomes better with age and time?
And time heals all wounds?
Apparently time makes Cameron Diaz and Jason Segal bad actors.

After their incredible work and chemistry (for you normal people read, sexual tension) in Bad Teacher, I was excited for Sex Tape. Even though the premise alone was not promising.
A couple who were the modern day bunnies, meet and fall in love in college choosing to fornicate everywhere. Oddly enough she gets knocked up, I do wonder why. They get married and the fornicating stops.
You know how there are commitment-phobes around, it is movies like these that reinforce this kind of behaviour.
Then they decide to make a sex tape to bring the magic back. None of that, let's ease back into it, or let's be romantic. Lets make a sex tape.
But instead of deleting it, Jason accidentally ends up sharing it with a whole bunch of people thanks to The Cloud. Free advertising for Apple right there.
Even scenes with the iPad help the sales, don't they?
The rest of the films follows them around as they try to retrieve the sex tape and somehow fall more in love with each at the end of the story. Yayee! I am so glad I did not pay money to watch it.
This was a movie that started sort of shaky, not really detailing much about their life instead focusing on all the coitus. Then it just goes incredibly downhill from there.
The jokes, if you recognise them aren't funny. You can tell they are trying really hard to make you laugh and you might pity giggle every now and then, but overall not funny.
It takes about 40 minutes to really get into the plot of the film, which if you are watching The Hobbit is fine, because then you have another to films to get to. But in this case, I really hope they don't make ay more films.
Also, the 40 minute mark is that point where you will be very convinced to switch off the film. Just a warning.
It is impressive to see how Cameron Diaz has maintained herself, I mean, throwback to Charlie's Angles days, take the wrinkles away and she looks pretty much the same. Jason Segal has lost a LOT of weight since HIMYM went downhill. But I do think he was funnier and happier when he was a curvy babe. Sort of like Nigella Lawson. There are a host of supporting actors who are, umm, they, uh, are there.
That's all I can say about them.

The Good: There are actually one or two bits that are worth watching, but you do have to sit through the rest of the gibberish.
The Bad: Jason Segal's naked buttocks. Call me a prude, but I could have lived happily having not seen that.

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