26 August 2015

All Is Well

After a beautiful 8 month long hiatus from Bollywood, I decided to take some cautious steps back into the overtly melodramatic world of Bollywood with All Is Well.
I really should have been more cautious.

All Is Well follows the story of a dude called Inder who currently living the dream in Pattaya singing and performing in random clubs. One of which is ironically named 'Hollywood'.
My uncle has always said that Bollywood movies which start with a song are doomed. All Is Well is no exception to the role. And btw, what is up with the whole naming Hindi movies based on popular songs, now?
Inder was raised by a hard working man who attempts to live out his dream of owning a bakery. Speaking strictly as a fatty whose thighs are pure sugar at this point, that truly is the ultimate dream. Inder's mother and father have constantly been at loggerheads, due to money issues. And this familial animosity, spreads to Inder as well, who now resents his father for expecting Inder to work in the family bakery business.
Inder's father in turn, resents him for abandoning said family business and trying to make it as a musician. As a man who himself has a dream that he has been working towards, one would think that Rishi Kapoor would be more receptive to his son's request.
This mutual resentment keeps rising and eventually Inder stops going home to India. Which would have been fine, except Rishi Kapoor gets 'slightly' kidnapped by a loan shark intent on getting money back from Rishi.
Meanwhile Inder's mother has concocted some Bollywood blended version of alzheimer's and dementia, and lives in a home. When Inder goes to visit her, he is majorly guilt tripped by the nurse for not recognising the symptoms and leaving to live his dream in a different country. This by the way has been preceded by SEVERAL jabs by pretty much EVERYBODY at his NRI status. I mean, how dare he take an opportunity to do what his heart desires? Bad little brown boy!
Oh, and in the background of all of this is Asin. Remember her? I sure didn't.
She is Inder's ex-girlfriend who is getting married to some dorky guy who lives in Australia in a weeks time.
We only know that she is Inder's ex, because it is very slightly hinted at. And we only know that the future Mr. Asin is dorky because there is a background noise 'twoing' that makes me assume that.
As in, "Ek hafte mein meri shaadi hai, iske saath" "twoing!"
Other than that he seems like a perfectly normal guy, quite like Inder himself.
Asin says only two things throughout the movie, ie. I am getting married, so kindly don't try to steal me away AND I will always love you. She seems to oscillate quite actively between seducing him and playing EXTREMELY hard to get.
It just seems like the director intended to fit 4 separate plotlines into one movie. Why do one thing well when you can screw 4 things up at the same time, right?
There is absolutely no need for you to ever watch this movie. It is decidedly terrible and really, Abhishek Bachchan, why are you still insisting on acting? Just live off your parents and wife's money.
Brad Pitt is certainly having a ball of a time doing just that.
Though I should say, AB is doing a much better job than Brad Pitt at aging well. At least he has some of the dad's genes.
I got unbelievably bored with 40 mins of the movie and I have sat through and watched a documentary about how they make vulcanized rubber.
Please do yourself a favour and don't go wasting money on this dismal performance.

The Good: There is literally nothing of merit in the movie.
The Bad: At least, Indian's are recognizing dementia/alzheimer's as a legitimate and serious disease. Then immediately turning around and using that to a comic effect. For shame.
Also can I just point out that the IMDB summary for this film is, "A road trip, undertaken by Inder (Abhishek Bachchan) and Mr. Bhalla (Rishi Kapoor), is interrupted by their unwelcome mother."
Why is she unwelcome? Could it be because she is MENTALLY INCAPABLE of understanding things, you absolute fool?

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